BLITHERING, BUMBLING, AND RAMBLING #3
HOLLYWOOD COMES TO TOWN
My brother posted on Facebook that he had just successfully completed his first role on a movie being made in (Gasp!) ...... East Nicolaus! Yes, way!
It wasn’t a speaking role, more of a group background shot. He doesn’t have to do much in the scene, just playing cards. The role is uncredited, and the scene was shot at the soon-to-be-famous Nicolaus Tavern. It’s not a film company you’ve heard of because it’s an independent production, and low budget. No, he didn’t get paid anything to be in it.
On Facebook my brother graciously thanks the producer (our sister-in-law) and the director (our nephew) for spotting his potential early on. Should the film, titled “Livia’s House” turn out to be the rocket to stardom he’s hoping for, I will always be able to tell people that my kid brother’s big break in show business came when he had the famous role of “card player on the right”.
LOTTA SHAKIN
I had just sit down in my recliner when a noise that can only be described as a rumble, started on the far side of the house and worked it’s way through to my side in about 2 seconds. The beams shook a bit, the cupboards made a sound that was a cross between a rattle and a hum. And of course, I calmly sat up in my recliner and wondered if this was a good time to panic. Naw, not yet.
My dear wife stepped in from the laundry room a second after the rumble passed. “Did you feel that?”I asked. “What?” she replies. The rumble that shook the whole house, I explain. No, she did not. Hmmmm.
She checks the internet and finds several local people describing more than one earth tremor that just happened, jiggling their tooth fillings a bit. I only experience the one. But at least I knew there was one. Not sure if that makes me aware, partially aware, or not quite on top of it. My wife didn’t seem too concerned.
A few minutes later the ringtone tells us there’s somebody at the front door. Great, I thought, probably somebody offering good deals on earthquake insurance. A friend of mine who grew up in New Jersey told me that back east they have stereotyped California as the earthquake state. Huh. I wanted to tell him to correct those “Joisie” misinformed, but then figured, it might just be the thing that keeps them from crossing state lines. Yeah, I’ll leave that stereotype alone.
Oh, and the front door ring was a package delivery for my wife. After that, she forgot all about the earthquake. And I started to think how my daughter’s boyfriend’s family lives in New Jersey. And they are contemplating moving out west when they retire. Hmmmmm.
OH NO YOU DON’T
Lately, I’ve been getting bombarded with phone calls, texts, and emails,not to mention the occasional regular mail from a variety of sketchy businesses, and scammers. It seems they just try to wear you down. Well , it got me to thinking, which led to eventual scheming, which led to......
A call one morning, which by the caller ID on the phone led me to know it was another sales pitch/scam. I decided to answer, not my usual response. My lovely wife stared at me, curiously. “Allo, ish diz” I spoke into the phone. A short pause followed, then the caller hung up. My wife, mildly amused, wanted to know how long I was gonna try this plan out.
It made me think of all the ideas other people had as far how to deal with annoying calls. One guy had told me several years back how he would answer and talk like a three year old child who didn’t understand anything asked. Another told me she would answer every question with a question, but never actually answering anything asked. But my all time favorite was the one where the guy answered using a gibberish gobbledygook bunch of made up words pretending it was a nonexistent language. He kept cue cards by the phone and said no call went longer than 30 seconds.
So now I’m working on cue cards! Word of warning:if you call my number and wind up talking to some guy who sounds like me, but in a language that sounds like a Lithuanian beer commercial, the password is “Bazinga” if you want me to knock it off.
HAL IS BACK
My wife liked the idea of upgrading our house thermostat to the Nest system so we could control it remotely by WiFi, and to have it learn our patterns and make adjustments that save energy. Seems simple enough to install, she said. Ok,why not?
The Nest system arrived, and yeah, it was pretty easy to install. But then I noticed something. It was eerily similar in appearance to the robotic Hal in 2001: A Space Odyssey. All right, for those film-challenged-unaware-of-that-70’s-movie stuff, see the link below
Ok, that same eyeball with a blinking light, is now in my house. And as we switched it on, it kept telling us that it could not connect to our system. We, (ok my wife) tried a variety of ways to get the thing to connect, and gain control of our thermostat again. It was, at the time, 106 degrees outside. Now, if you remember the movie, when Hal says he can’t do that, it’s BAAAADDD news for Dave. So, when Nest said no, a creepy feeling set in.
Eventually my lovely tech-aware wife gained some control and started the Nest, and air conditioning returned to our now happy home. And it still makes you wonder a little bit, who is actually programming who. And also, don’t watch 1970’s movies that end without telling you what happened to Dave!