BLITHERING, BUMBLING, AND RAMBLING #14

IS THAT SEAT TAKEN?

You know the feeling you get when you are watching a Giants game at the ballpark and somebody comes in with a Dodgers hat  and sits down next to you in the stadium? It is the symbolic meeting of Fans, the iconic opposites, who are neighbors in the span of time from the opening pitch, to the final out.  And how it works out depends on how you and the Dodger fan act during that period.  So put yourself in my shoes during the following……..

49ERS VS CHARGERS-  My wife and I were in San Diego and went to a Chargers game with my brother and his wife.  They were playing the 49ers.  As we sat down in the stands, it was pretty clear from the crowd that the tailgate party had started hours earlier.  The drunken fans were loud and cantankerous long before the game started.

The game began and it didn’t take long before both teams scored.  It made it easier to ignore the fans.  Until two of them came in and sat right next to me.  They began shouting right away, mostly for the Chargers, but both were clearly drunk, and they were slurring their words and ordering beer nonstop.  Now, they weren’t bothering me, so I was trying to tune them out.  And I wasn’t about to cheer for the 49ers when I was surrounded by Charger fans.  Yeah, why would ya?

We were seated about 3 rows back from the railing and in walks a guy and his girlfriend who stop to take selfies of themselves along the railing directly in front of us. It goes on for several minutes, which incenses the two drunken fans beside me.  They are upset about the guy partially blocking their view, not because they can’t see the game, but because the guy blocking it is wearing a 49er jersey.  Gasp!  And so as the two guys beside me loudly direct the 49er fan and his girlfriend to get the heck back to SF, stadium security pops up almost immediately and tells the 49er fan to take his seat and stop messing up the view.

The 49er fan sits down in the front row, 4 feet from where he was standing.  Then four people with beer showed up right behind him and told him and his girlfriend they were in their seats.  The 49er fan and his girlfriend started to walk away, then, spotting two empty seats in the second row they came up a row and sat down.  Right in front of the two drunken fans beside me.  This set them off, and as they began to verbally question the 49er fans choice of seat, again security popped up immediately and asked to see the 49er guy’s tickets.  

The 49er fan made several reassuring comments and did the slow pat-down of his pockets, that clearly showed he was stalling.  His girlfriend tried to look away and not make eye contact.  Finally the guy pulled out his tickets and flashed them to security and back into his pocket.  Security wasn’t buying it and told the guy to bring the tickets back out.  Then they politely told him he was in the wrong section and that they would show him where his seats were.  The girlfriend never looked up as they were escorted away.  This brought great joy to the drunken fans next to me, who hurled insults and derogatory statements to the 49er fans as they left.  Worse, they got more beer.

The second quarter started and the 49ers took control of the game.  San Diego played pretty poorly from that point on, and this just made the two guys beside gripe more and complain about literally everything.  At half time one of the two guys beside us got up and walked up the stairs.  I was relieved, thankfully the other guy didn’t feel like talking with his buddy gone.

The third quarter started and the drinking resumed.  The Chargers were getting beat.  Badly.  It was unfortunate that at this point in the game another 49er fan came to the attention of the two drunk guys.  After quietly watching the game for the first half, the 2nd 49er fan, seated to my right and one row behind, decided to cheer on the 49ers with real enthusiasm.  He wasn’t wearing a jersey and he and his girlfriend had been behaving fine.  However, the two guys next to me didn’t see it that way.  They turned around and told the guy, and his girlfriend , that 49er fans were supposed to be up in the cheap seats a mile away and they should head there, now.

The guy and his girlfriend politely answered back that they could cheer for either side they chose, and since these two goofballs didn’t own the stadium, they would continue to do so.  The two drunk guys stood up.  Aw c’mon, why me? This made the guy behind me stand, and as they shouted at each other, security arrived, yes AGAIN.  They told everybody to stop shouting and sit down.  They all did.  Security explained that whatever they were arguing about didn’t matter, they had to stay seated and quit arguing.  The drunks said ok.  The sober guy and his girlfriend were a little miffed, and the guy spoke up and said he wasn’t gonna take any abuse from the drunk guys. And here we go….

Security explained to the guy if he wanted to stay in the stadium he needed to keep his opinion of the other fans to himself.  The guy bristled at this and started to mutter about free speech and his right to be here.  Security explained it was not negotiable.  The guy argued that it was, and that was the straw that broke the camel’s-back-of-patience with security.  They escorted the guy and his girlfriend out.  My jaw dropped, I couldn’t believe it.  The two drunks cheered the ejection of the 49er fans, and of course, decided now was a good time to order another round of drinks.

The remainder of the game was fairly uneventful.  The 49ers ran up the score to a considerable margin.  The Charger fans responded by drinking more.  My team won, but it was a very bad fan experience.  And I would not have even whispered the idea of cheering for my team.

GIANTS VS CUBS-  Debbie had scored some tickets to a Giants Game and we took the kids and headed to PAC BEL park.  Turns out the  tickets were in the upper deck of left field, in a game against the Cubs.  Also turns out, pretty much every one around us, were Cub fans.  No, we weren’t wearing Giants T-shirts.  

The Cubs fans were not only friendly, they were outgoing, chatty, and sang the “‘CUBBIE’S SONG” which I had never heard, and, quite frankly, never knew existed.  It was a look at the other side, in our Giants park.  I know, makes ya think, doesn’t it?  Where the heck did so many Cubs fans pop up together, and how do they know Left Field is the rendezvous point?  And they brought their kids ,too.  Who, naturally, were wearing Cubs shirts and hats.

They never griped about the calls.  They were upbeat, they were united. They had pleasant conversations about standings, players, foods they could get at Wrigley Field, Bay Breeze vs Chicago Wind, Barry Bonds vs Sammy Sosa, and PAC Bell Park seats vs. 1000 -year-old Wrigley Field benches.  And they were SOBER. Yeah, even better.  I liked those guys, and when we lost to the Cubs that day, I left feeling that  respect for them was well deserved.  My team lost, but it was a good fan experience.  And I could root for the Giants there, the Cubs fans weren’t the least bit bothered by it.

So I started thinking, it  isn’t fair to judge a team by its fans, or vice versa.  Hey, I’m sure there are Charger fans out there who are sober, respectful, supporters of their team in a positive way.   And we could all sit down together and enjoy a game and part with dignity and admiration for both sides.  All we have to do is sit next to each other and cheer pleasantly.  At, say, a Giants game.  Yeah, against the Cubs!  We’ll meet in the left field bleachers.  You’ll learn a catchy new song.

LIAR!

When my kids were small, we watched them grow up, learning from others around them.  So it was important to emphasize the practice of honesty.  You want to believe everything you are told, and trust the person telling it.  You point out when you know they are being accurate, when they are fudging a little, and when they are flat out making stuff up.

When I spoke to my kids I would soften it by saying I didn’t think I was getting the whole truth.  But when it was some outrageous falsehood someone else was spewing, like “everybody cheats” or “it doesn’t count if you don’t get caught” or “it’s ok to break the rules “, I felt it was important to point out the lie in it.  I didn’t want to label too harshly, so if my kids told me about someone saying such things, I said the person was a “Fibber Magee “.  

So one day I was home, the TV was on and the kids were in the room.  The wild eyed snake oil salesman on the commercial was saying there was  evidence  that his product cured just about everything.  As “proof” he showed a clip of some skid row transient saying he tried it and it worked.  I spoke at the TV and said “LIAR!” out of general annoyance.  My daughter Kari, immediately spoke up and said “He’s a Fibber Magee, Dad, a big one! “.   As I was chuckling at this Kari was pointing at the guy on the TV set, and nodding.  The adorable thing was, Erin, who was about a year old at the time and in her baby walker, started nodding in sync with her sister.

And so all the way through grammar school for the two of them, whenever we discussed dishonesty, if they thought they had been told a bunch of malarkey, they’d call the malarkeyist (malarker?)“ A liar, a real Fibber Magee”.  So there was no doubt when both labels were attached.

To this day, I can’t help but think how a simple principle was instilled in my children.  Because as we all know, sticks and stones may break my bones, but nobody wants to be called a Fibber Magee.

FOR A MILLION DOLLARS

Everybody has their price I guess, but some of the game shows have used new levels of tolerance to test how badly the contestants want it.  The other night I was watching the Amazing Race and noted that they seemed to have hit every level of limit testing already, and the race is still on.  They have made the contestants bungee jump off the side of a dam, pack wine and nuts uphill over 400+ steps requiring multiple trips, drive through mountainous curvy roads with sharp massive cliffs, and eat stuff that was so disgusting it made them gag. I know, crazy right?

Much like the show Survivor, it also pits you in intense personal confrontations with the other contestants where they form alliances, only to later break them, lie to each other, refuse to help when someone is in need, and steer them in the wrong direction.  And at the end of each show, they gather everyone together to share experiences, lessons learned, and of course, congratulate the winner.  Both shows are about getting there first, and manipulating the competition with no real rules against lying, stealing, or leaving somebody hanging on the cliff if it puts you ahead of them.  It is, literally, every person for themselves.  Kind of like politics, or a really wild dream.

Some people take the high ground, and try to be honest, fair, and help those struggling. But, once burned, or lied to, or left hanging by someone else, a lot of them decide to fight fire with fire.  It is intense to watch, and realize that despite what they say about the reason they want to win, and the great things they will do with the money, a lot of the winners employ some pretty wicked tactics, dirty tricks, and traitorous blindsides to their competition.  But, hey, they won a MILLION DOLLARS!

Much like a train wreck that is about to happen, you tend to want to stop the games, knowing the damage that will result to the losers, after such grueling events. But, darn it all, you pick the one you like most to win, and you hope the other jerks lose in some way that points out to them that mean people suck.  Take  that Mr or Ms Liar/Thief/Blindsider/Backstabber!

And people have gotten hurt on those shows.  I gasp at some of the risks they take, and the near insanity of some of the competitions.  And good god what they make them eat!  So why do I keep watching?  You kidding? You can’t BUY this kind of endless thrill ride!  Nobody’s day at home matches this stuff, and contestants all go into it, not knowing what they face each day, or who will turn on them. So, yeah, I’m no crazier than than they are.  But, ok, I don’t have a long shot at being a millionaire either.

On the current Amazing Race I’m pulling for the guy with the Nerd Glasses, which he says give him super powers.  He and his wife are charming and delightful, and haven’t lied to anyone yet.  Hmmm, how long can that last…..

DOWNRIGHT DEVIOUS

Years ago, back in the 1980’s Debbie and I were taking a road trip that went through Arizona.  As we drove through miles of desert, and neared the city of Williams, it started to snow.  We arrived at our hotel, checked in, and the snowflakes continued,  we grabbed a bite to eat, and as we were going to bed, it was quiet as a church on Monday. And then….

Debbie awakened me an hour later and said the people upstairs were pacing.  ‘Whhhhhatttt????  Sure enough, as I lay there,. I could hear them walking across the floor, back and forth, stopped, and then did it again.  They tapped their feet , bounced on the bed, and paced some more.  Great.  I told her to wait it out, and fell back asleep.  A half hour later, she woke me up again.  They’re pacing again, she said.  Oooooohhh.  So I said we could either call the desk and make a complaint about noise, or tune it out and go back to sleep.   Then, I fell back asleep.  You have to realize, I am a deep sleeper, and if there was a gunfight in my living room in the middle of the night, I wouldn’t know till the next morning.

At the very crack of dawn I awaken to find Debbie up and getting dressed.   She has a very strange smile on her face.  After awhile I get up and we pack up and head toward the car.  The smile on Debbie’s face gets bigger.  She tells me as we are putting the stuff in the car that the people upstairs walked, stomped, and tapped until just before 4 am.   When it finally stopped, she waited, unable to sleep now.  She got up, a little after 4 am, walked outside, and found out what the number was of the room above us.  Then she waited until she was sure they were in a deep sleep, and called the room.  

When a sleepy voice answered, she said “‘you guys ready to go, we’re packed downstairs!” And waited on the line as the groggy voice  answered that she had the wrong room.  She apologized, then hung up, and giggled herself, finally, to sleep.  When we were leaving the room, I carried the bags down to the car and she hung back in the room, and called the stomper room again.  Oooooohhhhh, soooooo devious.

Later that day we went to the Grand Canyon.  It started to snow a little as we were there.  We took pictures of ourselves overlooking the canyon.  I am reminded as I look back on those photos of it being my first time there.  And the smile on her face was mostly at seeing the Grand Canyon with snowflakes, and, still pleased with her handling of the midnight toe tappers.  

It’s the reason why I tiptoe VERY SLOWLY, VERY QUIETLY, into the bedroom when she’s asleep.